Me at Baywalk

By DAVID TRUJILLO

PENIS. Okay, now that I have your attention: The last few months have been pretty disappointing for local activists. In case you haven’t been following the aneurysm-inducingly frustrating Baywalk privatization catastrophe in downtown St. Pete, let me lay it out for you with my characteristically dispassionate objectivity.

A few months ago, St. Pete’s now outgoing mayor Rick Baker and Baywalk’s owner corporation CW Capital – a branch of Wells Fargo – proposed a renovation plan for downtown’s central entertainment and shopping plaza, Baywalk. The plan consisted of privatizing the sidewalk there so that it would be controlled by the stores fronting it; once this wish were granted, CW Capital would invest $6 million in the renovation of the whole complex. Essentially, the plan would give the stores total discretion over who could use the place: homeless people, protesters, canvassers, and whoever else storeowners might deem disruptive to their business could be forcibly removed from the premises. The shopping area had been in a financial downward spiral for a while and this sidewalk privatization would purportedly give the struggling shops a chance to survive.

Thanks to vigorous lobbying by store owners and the mayor, the proposal seemed certain to be approved by the city council: by October 1^st of this year, the day scheduled for the city hall public comment session and the city council’s vote on the privatization, only one person on the eight-member council – Wengay Newton, incidentally the only black councilmember – had announced his opposition to the plan.

The public comments would go on for as long as there were people present to give no-more-than-three-minute comments or speeches. Knowing this, I spent some time the previous night writing the most beautiful, wide-ranging speech I could possibly pull out of my ass and from online research; it touched on American history, past Supreme Court cases, natural law arguments made by enlightenment philosophers, and other things about which I am a world-renowned expert. (Truly, I didn’t consider the time constraints when I wrote the speech and had to keep shortening after I timed myself … but there was so much goodness there that I didn’t want to cut! So, ultimately, I went up to the podium and just speed-read to the city council my shortened but still comically overwrought speech.)

When the public comment session was over and it was time to vote, the council did the unbelievable (unbelievable, that is, to those who had not heard my singularly poignant magnum opus). Three councilmembers joined member Wengay Newton and decided to vote against the proposal, splitting the vote 4-4 and thereby rejecting the privatization. Holy fuck! That felt really good. We the people had made a difference! (Or, I, single-handedly and thanks to my pulse-stopping sexual charisma and spellbinding rhetorical prowess, had staunched the encroachment of corporate tyranny with my completely badass speech; no credit due, of course, to the other students, the [jaw-droppingly selfless homeless advocate and paragon of local pinkoism] Reverend Bruce Wright, members of St. Pete for Peace, ACLU lawyers and other local activists who had been constantly speaking out on this issue and also made public comments.)

But councilmember Herb Polson, incidentally the most obese councilmember, began to feel pangs of guilt at having betrayed his corporate masters and decided to switch his anti-privatization vote. (YOU CONTEMPTIBLE WEASEL.) And so the pols came back for another round of voting, sans public comments, and approved, 5-3, the privatization of Baywalk. Now the thing’s effectively been set in stone. Fucking awesome. And Kathleen Ford, the candidate for mayor who was against the privatization, just lost the election. Even fucking awesomer. You, dear reader, have just lost your First Amendment right to free expression in one of the most visible, busy, and historically important parts of St. Pete.

We Eckerd students may come from places as diverse as Georgia, New Jersey, Washington state, Texas, Massachusetts, New York or wherever else in the U.S. or even from overseas, but all of us have now, for at least a few years, adopted St. Petersburg as our home and we spend most of each year in this city. You might not be able to vote, but why the hell does that matter? By canvassing and protesting you can reach more people and make a bigger impact than by solely ticking a little box on a ballot. Let’s get out there and make ourselves heard. We’re AMERICANS, bitch! We can’t stand for this shit.

Social justice discussions led by Reverend Bruce Wright occurred on Wednesdays at 5:30 PM this semester. There will likely be some more after winter break; email me at trujilda@eckerd.edu if you’re interested. Happy holidays!